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Ever have that nagging feeling something is not right, but you can't put your finger on it? I hate that feeling, I want to say I know the reason why, but I will not assume it... I will just see what happens, maybe its me just being in a mood; being paranoid... I know these journals hold a lot of my secrets and thoughts, but there are still a lot of them that will never go into these journals... What I am thinking now, might never be brought to the light of day, even in a private entry.. Written word means its true, and even though it probably is, I don't want to give it more credence... Ya know? *chuckles* I re-read this entry and it sounds funny, but it makes perfect sense to me, and that's all that matters...
I was just thinking about things as usual and out of the blue, a thought comes into my mind that I really don't know how to feel about it. Now I am not asking for pity, I have enough enough of my own (got to at least appreciate the truth there, not to mention in life outside of this computer I don't seem so depressed.. This is a blog aka journal, so I write down my feelings which are always there, but rarely shown)... I am just writing (typing) this to get it off my chest... My aunt, she never married, always lived at home and took care of her parents (well when my mom didn't because of going home to her family). When her dad died in April of 98, she (my aunt) died exactly 2 weeks later... Was her purpose in life to watch her last parent then as there was no more purpose, she was meant to die? That makes me a bit nervous because I am following the same path... Many times in my life I have done stupid somethings and I should have been dead by now, but by the powers that be, I am still here, seemingly awaiting my purpose. Since my father divorced my mom, and now I have to watch her and take care of things, am I on the same boat, that when she dies, my time is up? That is the only purpose I see in my pathetic existence. I see neither love nor true happiness, so is this it? I really don't know how to feel about that...
(Please don't give me life is what you make of it crap either)
I was given this link from a friend on here; and if this doesn't make you at the very least, sad and upset, then you are cruel and heartless like those SOB's that want to ban pit bulls...
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